Q: In a live video feed, the terrific American existential psychiatrist Irvin Yalom was discussing the significance of life. When the time came for him to speak, there was a technical issue and his voice was indecipherable. Am I not meant to know the meaning of life? R.D., COOGEE, NSW
A: You don’t wish to know the significance of life since then there ‘d be no life significance left to understand and life would end up being useless. So possibly it’s a good thing you didn’t hear exactly what the great American existential psychiatrist Irvin Yalom had to say, and rather you reached out to me, an average Canadian-Australian irrelevant psycho-babblist, the Modern Guru.
Illustration by Simon Letch.Look, I’ll be sincere, I do not know the meaning of life myself. I could hardly work out the meaningof Blade Runner 2049. I’m happy to share a couple of important life lessons that might help you on your journey. To start with, aim to be 8 minutes early for whatever, but no earlier or you’ll simply be standing around, seeming like a genuine schlemiel.
Always kiss your enthusiast each time you believe “Hey, I should kiss my lover”, as well as now and then when you don’t want to kiss them. Also, never ever discard coathangers due to the fact that the next day you will find twice as lots of clothing in your wardrobe and you will believe, where are my coathangers? WHERE?????
And the most essential lesson: if you ever feel strained by the unbearable uniformity of day-to-day existence, include a dollop of MasterFoods Horseradish Cream to your salad dressing and it will enliven your flavourless, lacklustre life with a vibrant punch of inspirational creamy tangyness. That’s as near to the significance of life as anybody has to get.